The Plan

So lots has been happening in my world, and I'm sure yours. My dad, who is an awesome human being, and quite healthy might I add, was diagnosed with Acute Myleoid Leukemia last month, and has been in isolation getting aggressive treatments since the day he found out. My birthday was two days after we heard, Woooo (Queue one sad birthday kazoo).

I recently moved home to save money, hopefully enough to be able to buy a place of my own in about 6 months time. My parents move south every winter, so it was a perfect opportunity, and yes I feel the need to clarify that the plan was always for them not to be home, for me to be 'helping them out' by house sitting. It makes me feel better, ok? Well, plans change now don't they, and really at times like this, there is nowhere else I'd rather be. This whole cancer thing has really shook me up inside. I feel sad, withdrawn, irritable, needy, hungry for candy. Luckily, with the holidays just behind us, being at home, and my grandmother's endless Christmas baking, there has been no shortage of reasons to be irritated, while being hungry for candy, and never disappointed.

Needless to say, I'm feeling (ok, fine - looking...) a little heavier than I'd like, but ever more so I'm feeling tired, which is not new. And if my healthy dad can get Leukemia with no family history of any cancer whatsoever, so too can I. So in true resolution fashion, I figure now's as good a time as any, to start to make better choices, and not ignore the facts. I have been reading a fantastic book called: Hungry for Change (http://www.hungryforchange.tv/) , I highly encourage anyone who struggles with food/weight to check this out. It isn't a diet, it isn't deprivation, and it isn't a fight against your body. It is one of the best educational book I have ever read.  It is teaching to give your body what it needs, not what society tells it it wants, and is clearly explaining why the processed foods, of low-fat & diet varieties aren't doing sh*t for your self-esteem, body, or well-being. One of the best things I've learned so far, is the actual danger behind drinking diet sodas, and consumption of aspartame & other various sweeteners. As a self-proclaimed Diet Pepsi addict, I strongly craved at least one can a day. In the morning, I struggle to get out of bed. After lunch, (where I usually have a sandwich of some sort, & a diet pepsi) I always feel incredibly tired. I knew there was something bad about diet drinks, but never looked into it. Turns out they can be incredibly harmful to the brain, and are as, or more, addictive than heroin. I heeeeaaaaarrrrddd that sister! So step one: no more diet, low-fat, low-cal nothin'. They say that because those types of 'food' are void of any real nutritional value, you are constantly searching for more food to satisfy. That if you just ate less of items that were all natural, no matter what the fat/cal/sugar content, you would be satiated, and have more energy. Sounds rational.

All to say this Tuesday I will start my first detox for 3-7 days, to curb my addiction to sugar & chemicals. The detox consists of fresh vegetable juice, salads, soups, & snacks. Which is already looking better than slim-fast (a diet I did for my high school grad trip to Cuba which had me lose 20 lbs, still looking flabby, and only to return home to eat endless amounts of McDonalds cheesburgers to fill the void that had been lacking for the months previous and gaining 30lbs back.) and the cabbage soup diet, where again I lost weight to only gain more back.

My goal is to not stress about it, hope for the best, not stress if I slip, & just add in as many good things as I possibly can until there is no longer room for the bad. All in hopes of bringing this diet forward to my whole family for when my dad is strong enough to come home, and we can do it together.